So we saw each other again. It was our second time hanging out. I won’t lie, it was absolutely perfect. We cuddled, watched tv, joked around, everything. I couldn’t get enough of him. I swear I was kissing him nonstop. It didn’t seem real. I just wanted to hold him against me until I believe that he was actually there.
However, when he left, it was the most heartbreaking of goodbyes for me. Was it at first? No, because he was still there. I still felt the shock of him being with me. But afterwards, especially last night, it just hit me hard. I can’t hold him at night when I need him. I can’t kiss him when I want to. It kills me inside. It’s a longing inside that you feel happy about, but at the same time sad, because you know that you can’t hold the person who is al of your happiness in your arms and say “I love you” face to face. I miss his kisses. I miss him nose nuzzling into my hair. I miss the cute way that he was nervous to hold me but at the same time still rested his arm around me. I miss him.
His dad said that he’d drive him down again before June, and that makes me feel better. Also, his talent show is soon, and I’m hoping I can go to that. I’ll do anything to see him again, I really will.
Thank God for technology. Seriously, my phone is constantly attached to my hip, and I’m checking it every 5 minutes, just to see if he texted me. I don’t know what I’d do without our FaceTime dates, either. Just to hear his voice makes me a little closer to home.